And so it begins.

Well, sort of. All I am going to give you for now is this lame intro/forward thing. I probably should have edited it, but I haven't yet, so you get the raw, uncut version. Enjoy and stay tuned for Chapter the first next week!

Here it is:

I have often wondered whether I would actually get around to doing this, and it seems I have. I still don't know why, exactly, I am giving an account of my life for all the world to know and to judge, but I guess that's just what people who have led extraordinary lives do, so I have decided to float with the current and here I am formulating a sequence of ordinary letters in order to inform you of an extraordinary sequence of events.

What you will gain, if anything from your delving into my story, I cannot say. That depends entirely on you, the reader. You may merely get a laugh, but I hope you delve more deeply than that because a life, if perceived in the correct manner, is a spring from which actions flow forth; actions—good and bad—that can guide and teach you; actions that can better the understanding you have of your life. Please learn then, if you can, from both my mistakes and my triumphs. At the same time, if all you get get out of reading this story is a laugh, that's something and that something has worth.

Now I will explain some things about how I am writing this chronicle. First, it will have three parts. Second, my life has been made upon thoughts that appeared random in the present, but actually turned out not to be. That's just how I work. The problem, for you that is, is that's also how I write; kind of in all directions. If I am writing and the subject on which I am articulating pops a thought into my head, well, I'll jot it down, perhaps even if its mid-sentence. I think that would be overly confusing for most normal people, so for the  sake of your emboldening I will put those not-so-random, random thoughts in bold. Like this. I'm not really sure if that whole emboldening thing worked. In fact it didn't, but it amused me, so it doesn't matter. Shut up please. It was funny...And so on and so forth. Its like having parentheses but not. That's not too hard for you ordinaries, is it? While we're on the subject of ordinaries, I tertiarily want to have a word or two about words. I like words, especially big ones. I think of myself as quite loquacious. Scratch that. I am the epitome of loquaciousness. That being said, I am going to employ restraint and use colloquial expressions so that my story is comprehensible to the masses, both because I think most everyone can benefit from reading it and because I loath those who pompously use impressive words just to look intelligent. Then again, it is most amusing when those pompatic individuals misuse their 'impressive' vocabulary. Is it not true to say that everything finite has a flip side? Plus, it is much more fun to make up one's own words. In fact, I have done so twice in this paragraph alone.

Enough with the explanations. Let us move on. To tell you the truth, I don't get the whole autobiography thing because it is imperfect; it is without an end. Perfection is, as far as I'm concerned, the only state worth working for, so I am going against my normal code in writing this story. Or rather, part of a story. I have problem. How shall I end it if it does not end at the end? Am I to say, “I shall live happily ever after.” in a reassuring manner? That's the way the majority of stories end anyway. The only problem with that is, well, I don't know if I will indeed live happily ever after or not. Anything can happen. Hope, then, is the only viable option: hope that I find a way to end-but-not-end my story without awkwardness; hope that I do live happily ever after. Will you hope with me?

-L.E.

Aug. 9^th, 2054