Fat Tuesday.

Lent is here...ish. But let's not talk about that. Let's talk about...well, anything. Today has been hard, but good. Amazingly good, all things considered. I didn't get much sleep last night. It was restless for two reasons. One, I got an awful sore throat and two, I had a terrifying dream. It was so awfully torturous I don't want to get into it. The funny thing, though, is that today I feel more at peace than I ever have. Its so great. For the longest time, I was contemplating leaving everything to live with and help homeless people or something of that nature. I felt like I wasn't going anywhere in terms of my spirituality and I was tired of being a mediocre Christian. Although I wasn't having any real problems, I didn't feel like I was really getting better, and I somehow was feeling a sort of disconnect with everything. I wanted to jump start my spiritual life and storm the gates of heaven, so to speak. In the end I obviously didn't. I decided that I had too many commitments, and wasn't sure whether or not deep down it was in actually a form of cowardice. 

Even though I had decided not to go out on my own, I still wasn't sure whether or not I was right in staying. I still usually felt a disconnect; I still felt like I was stuck in a bog of spiritual mediocrity, never straying much below the x-axis, but at the same time never rising far above it. It seems that that disconnect has passed, though. Now I can truly start working towards being the man I want to be, the man God intends me to be. And as providence would have it, it's the day before Lent. What perfect timing! There could not be a better time to get going, as it were. For, just as it helps to have a running partner or a writing confidant, so it helps to have someone renewing and redoubling their faith as you are; someone to lean on, someone to relate with. And, well, the whole Church is doing that, so I guess that works. ;)

Now I know that was probably totally uninteresting and also a bit personal, but when I came on I really and truly couldn't think of anything else, so you're going to have to deal with it. Unless you skipped over it, which, by the bye, you are totally justified in doing. :)...At least its not as long as my last ones. 

Ahhh, I have studying to do, so I should probably get off. 

TTFN,

-Thomas