Why are cinnamon flavored things red?

People resort to various liquids when feeling down. Coffee, tea, wine, beer, cocktails, and hard liquor, to name a few. They have different effects on different people, but overall I think we can agree that these potions have the common purpose of lightening up their users lives, making them feel better. These, "magic cures" are well and good in their own right, I suppose, but I rarely use them. They are so commonplace; so unsophisticated; for the most part, at least. Now you may be wondering what I do/use when I am "feeling down." I do occasionally have down days. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I am not, in fact, superhuman. I'm just a product of humanity in its highest form. (Think a combination of Albert Eisenstein, Usain Bolt, and Micheal Phelps as a rough draft.) But as of now you are still lost in the dark as to what my sophisticated methods are. Let me enlighten you with silver. Yes, liquidated silver my friends. That's what I drink when I need a perk, and that's what you should drink if what what to be as sophisticated and classy as I am.

....Okay, am I right in thinking that an explanation may be in order? Last night my mom and dad returned from a health food store with a whole armada of natural remedies that are supposed to help me in some way or another. One of the fleet was a bottle of...can you guess...liquefied silver. Its supposed to work as some kind of natural antibiotic. I think the theory is that it has electrical charges in it that zap and kill bacteria. Anyway. The thought of drinking silver was, in my mind at least, quite funny, so I just had to share it with you. It seemed fitting to writing it in stuck up sort of way. Plus, is there anything more fun than writing in a pompous manner? I don't know about you, but I love it. And, although I'm not sure this is entirely a good thing, it comes rather easily to me. ;) 

Oops, I have to go get dressed for mass....

TTFN,

-Thomas