Butterflies.

Ok, no not really, but I am singing today at church in front of, or rather behind, 350ish people for the first time since I was a little boy. But the thing is is that its not really about the people. We sing to giver further beauty to the most sacred event in human history: the holy sacrifice of the mass. That's what makes it a little nerve racking. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't pass out and fall with a laud ka-boom.


Yesterday was the read through for a play that I'm in with a bunch of friends, Leave It To Psmith. I think its going to be really fun. I'm playing one of the main-ish characters, though, so I have a ton of lines to memorize. Ick!

Well, I don't have anything clever to say, so I think I'll write on something that bothers me. A lot. I have been thinking about writing on this for awhile now, and I guess the time is ripe. Let's dig in then, shall we? Ahem! So, this is going to sound strange coming from me if you know me, but I'm going those little mean-ish remarks that people for some reason find extremely amusing. I don't mean anything super bad, just things like when everyone is at box hill in Emma, and Emma tells Miss. Bates something along the lines of, You see, there is a limit to the dull things you can say; you are allowed but three. Sorry if you haven't read Emma before because that wont have meant much of anything to you, but there is a remedy: read it! Anyhoo, I want to start off by saying that I do this quite a bit. I don't do it to hurt people's feelings, though. I'm exactly sure why I do it at all. I suppose its to make people laugh, including the person I'm joking with. People do the same thing to me, and I think its funny and that they don't mean it, as I hope all people that I do stuff to mean that I don't mean it at all. That's not to say that I don't go over the top every once and awhile. I do. And I'm neither happy nor proud of it. But you see, when I do these sort of things I really try to do it solely to people I trust can take it as a joke because I feel wretched when I think I've actually hurt someone. What I get really annoyed and almost mad, at times, about is when people pick on others who are socially, or in any other way, insecure, just because they are that way. If someone doesn't feel comfortable isn't  one's job to make that person as comfortable as one can? How is that person going to ever feel comfortable or secure when others go out of their way to ignore them, or, even worse, give them unkind attention? It makes me so mad to see this happen, probably partly because its so bent and partly because I know I used to totally ignore those kind of people myself, and its a revolting recollection.

Got to go to mass now, wish me luck!

TTFN

-Thomas `