So I did get on...a Spin on Thanksgiving.

...because my family and the guests are on a walk and I'm at home doing the dishes (well, I finished them...sorta)

Anyway.

Because most people, when they write on Thanksgiving, are thankful and mushy or boring or both. And because I have so much to be thankful for that its impossible to put it into words, I am going to write on why Thanksgiving is the WORST holiday. Its different. I'm different. So lets start.

Ok. Before I start, so you don't get the wrong idea, this isn't serious and I think that the core idea of Thanksgiving (giving thanks to God) is a both good and important one.

That being said...

The most common misconception about Thanksgiving is "OOOOOhhh the food is so great!!"

If the meal is a traditional one, I would say that that statement is utter and complete rubbish.

Seriously. Turkey is nothing but dried-out chicken* on 'roids (I honestly don't get why the U.S anti-doping agency hasn't outlawed this holiday. I mean, humans are on the same level as animals, right?  So why don't we get the same treatment? Why bust Lance, when you don't bust the turkeys in  turkey runs at rodeos and such?) On other holidays, you get prime rib or filet mignon. Thanksgiving? Yo here buddy, here's a juiced-up chicken.

And Yams? Nuff said.

Stuffing is, well, stuffing.


Pies are kind of gross....the crusts...ewww. (I had a pack of Smarties for dessert)

Bread and mashed potatoes? The best parts of Thanksgiving dinner. But they really aren't exclusive to the holiday.


So I guess that 'the food is so great' statement has been twisted because a) there is too much of it and b) because Americans are big fat gluttons.

To sum up: We slave away all day long in order to make too much food, then we eat too much food, and are left without a thing to be thankful for because we are sick and there are mountains of dishes awaiting judgment in the kitchen. Well, I guess there is one thing to be thankful for....its almost over. =P


Come to think of it, the leftovers are probably the best thing about Thanksgiving. Playing second fiddle to its aftermath? That in itself pretty much proves that it is by far the worst of the major holidays.

Well, the nomads have made their return, so I should probably attempt to socialize....wish me luck!

And believe it or not, the Smartie part was true. I'm a sad individual.

 Happy Thanksgiving!!!!


-Thomas

*Just in case mom reads this: You make the turkey and all the other odd Thanksgiving dishes much more than edible. That was the juiciest, (no pun intended....although them thighs were pretty massive ;)) tastiest turkey ever! I really don't know how you manage to produce such an abundance of quality food in one day. You truly are amazing.