In my chest there is a feeling of emptiness...

...And that emptiness is like a dark, bottomless chasm. Ever growing larger and gnawing away at my sense of peace and happiness....psych. 

Sorry, but I just couldn't help trying to scare you into thinking that is was going to be another uber dramatic, over-the-top post. ;) (I like messing with people, WAY. too. much.)

Ok, now for a little tidbit about yesterdays post: I think I mighta sorta maybe blew my problems way out of proportion. And it didn't come out exactly the way I wanted it to; there are things that I should have said better and things that I didn't say at all, but "what's done is done; there is no use in worrying about the past." So whatever.

Also, my coach reminded me that I never posted my actual place at worlds. I got 13th out of 40-something...not bad all things considered, but not good either.

And now I can write about what I really came on to write about, and that is, last night...

...I went to youth group for the first time since it started back up. (We took a break for the summer.)
Anyway. Last night was a bible-study night and when we do things like that we split into three groups. We have five leaders and thy are awesome; We have two girls and three guys, and I would characterize them in this way: starting with the girls...really, really nice, outgoing, and is trying her best to be the best person she can she can; in my opinion, pretty much a saint; crazy, but good; quiet, but good; quiet, but good. The "crazy, but good" guy usually leads a group, and the two "quiet, but good" guys usually pair up with one of the girls.

K. I really am going somewhere with this, you just have to trust me.

I'm usually in the "saint's" group. And, even though I know we will have a good, fruitful discussion, I'm always going, "Man, why can't I be in the crazy guy's group, they have so much fun in there." but then when we start our talk, its like a switch, and I have an amazing time instead of a fun time; I leave with a better understanding of life, and more ammunition for my fight against the devil. The "saint" had two great pieces of advice that I want to share with you. The first one was especially good for me to hear because a lot of things haven't been going the way I wanted them to go lately. It was, whenever something comes up and ruins your personal plans, remember that everything that happens is according to God's plan; you should look at these situations, then, as an opportunity to show him that you trust in his will and are willing to do whatever he asks of you. The other one was a quote, "You only love Jesus as much as you love the person you least like in your life."

Pretty great stuff, huh? You're (via the "saint") welcome. I think I would write some pretty gnarly sermons though. Maybe I should become a priest....I'd have to become a little less egocentric though. ;P

So, while the group I at first wanted to be with was locking their leader in the bathroom, having water-fights, and drawing on him with markers, our group was talking about how we can reconcile suffering with a loving God and learning how to love him more. Talk about not knowing what's good for me...sometimes my rebel-stupidity is laughable.

Well, I really should go finish my school.

Onwards and upwards!

-Thomas, who might post some more pictures of his trip. Might. Its really a big pain because it takes forever.